It's a one word description of where I am-and I don't believe I'm alone.
There are some reasons I'll let you in on...adoption wait times extended....slow down of referrals of children (especially infant girls)...additional government restrictions....no other avenues makes me frustrated....down a staff member at church, and my friend from 'Lovin Much' says it the best:
And with all that...My FAITH waivers. My HOPE falters. My WORRY builds. My PASSION fades.
But thankfully HE remains constant, true, stable, trustworthy and always faithful. ALWAYS. FAITHFUL.
That's what keeps me going month after month after month...God's constant faithfulness. His gentle reminders that He is with us. His soft whispers that He is in control. His quiet confirmations that this is His plan. His sweet reassurance that this wait is all part of His timing.
But, I'm tired of the discouragement, so it's got to end. One thing that is true of discouragement is that it's a choice-and I'm going to choose to be done with it. (Y'all can really hold me to this-please, I need all the help I can get!) I really feel like I'm warring right now. To stand still is really to fall backwards, and I must press on and move forward in my faith!
A dear mentor of mine taught me to fight discouragement with gratitude. This is not my natural bent. My spirit really has to fight my flesh in this area. I heart pessimism :) I heard a quote yesterday from a movie that kind of describes my attitude in my 'natural man' regarding this. It goes like this "I hate optimisim. It's too *dang* tiring!" But something supernatural happens when I remember God's goodness...counting my blessings...one. by. one. ahhh....worship...an entering into God's presence-His help.
The battle is in my mind and I need God's word to fight in it. so here are some of my weapons today:
"Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, so walk in Him. Having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with Gratitude." Colossians 2:6 & 7 I just love those 'solid' word pictures when I'm feeling so shaky!
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the Peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7 yes, I'll take some more of that please!
"Set your mind on things above, not on the things of this earth." Colossians 3:2
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body: and be thankful." colossians 3:15
Finally, I'd like to ask you to pray today. The Truth is that God is Greater, we carry His powerful name, and He desires to hear from us and answer our cries! (amazing) James 5:13 "Is any among you suffering? He must pray."
Please pray for the orphans in Ethiopia (and around the world) who are suffering because of broken sinful systems.
Pray for those families who are adopting that our faith would be rooted and grounded and would grow to be a beautiful thing for God's glory. (God's just as interested in molding our character as He is rescuing little ones) 1 Peter 1:6-7 "You have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
I'm so thankful for God's faithfulness to carry me! How can I be praying for you?