May 31, 2012

May 2012 number

Our New May 2012 number is 82! Following a three month trend of moving two spots a month and I am ready to be done with the 80's! I have had a really long week waiting...on adoption, and on test results. It was hard, but so worth it to feel my Savior really be my refuge and strength. I got good test results back, rested in the Lord's promises and got a lower number...counting my blessings! I'd like to ask you to pray for us regarding the adoption...for direction. Sorry this post is so vague, but that's all I got for now. Thank you all for loving and encouraging me, and lifting me and my family up to the Father so faithfully! Before I go, I wanted to share this adorable dress that my co-worker and friend made for Marlee girl and gave me this past month! I just love it, and I love the heart of the giver!! Thank you, Ginny, for encouraging me all year, sweet friend:)

May 19, 2012


This spring I've been practicing a few things:

Grieving-My bf moved. My husband is pretty busy. I'm in a period of extended waiting for our daughter. We've been in the process over a year and in July we'll have been on our waitlist for a whole year. We are estimated to wait another year. This requires me to find healthy ways to grieve so I don't go bad crazy!! :) any ideas?! So far, I've allowed myself the freedom to cry more at appropriate times, I've asked for prayer and confided in people who love and want to care for me, I've gone on walks and cried out to the Lord, and I've listened to encouraging music.

Thankfulness-This one is literally changing me. I've been very slowly reading through Ann Voscamp's book called One Thousand Gifts. I. love. it. I'm a slow processor so I'm reading it chapter by chapter, journaling, rereading, stopping for days/weeks at a time to let it sink in and practice it. Knowing in my head that God rocks and has given me grace upon grace is one thing, to look for it, be made aware of it, and then thank Him for each one is radical nourishment for my soul! This is leading me to the next two practices. Two things I haven't had/done in a LONG time.

Rest-"Cast all your anxieties on me because I care for you." ok, God, I will try; you mean, you really care?! "Trust [me] at all times, pour out your heart to [me] for I am your refuge and strength." I see your grace is even in the 'hard' things so I know you're always good-I can trust you. You really do want to hear what's going on?!

Joy-"In [God's] presence there is fullness of joy." God is fullness of Joy. That is what He experiences all the time. That deep happiness that comes out of gratitude is where He resides. When we rest in Him, we feel it too. I'm just starting to practice this and it's still very fleeting to me, but I think my brain is starting to understand ;) I know the way to Joy is God-looking to Him to do all the cleansing work in my heart let's me see Him clearly. "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God". It's kind of a cycle. I come to God to 'fix me' and I rest in Him. My heart is grateful for His grace and Mercy and I thank Him. This makes me 'see' more of His grace and goodness and I seek Him more and He gives me His Joy. This results in worship and I want to come to Him more etc.

Just some things I'm working about you?