Grieving-My bf moved. My husband is pretty busy. I'm in a period of extended waiting for our daughter. We've been in the process over a year and in July we'll have been on our waitlist for a whole year. We are estimated to wait another year. This requires me to find healthy ways to grieve so I don't go bad crazy!! :) any ideas?! So far, I've allowed myself the freedom to cry more at appropriate times, I've asked for prayer and confided in people who love and want to care for me, I've gone on walks and cried out to the Lord, and I've listened to encouraging music.
Thankfulness-This one is literally changing me. I've been very slowly reading through Ann Voscamp's book called One Thousand Gifts. I. love. it. I'm a slow processor so I'm reading it chapter by chapter, journaling, rereading, stopping for days/weeks at a time to let it sink in and practice it. Knowing in my head that God rocks and has given me grace upon grace is one thing, to look for it, be made aware of it, and then thank Him for each one is radical nourishment for my soul! This is leading me to the next two practices. Two things I haven't had/done in a LONG time.
Rest-"Cast all your anxieties on me because I care for you." ok, God, I will try; you mean, you really care?! "Trust [me] at all times, pour out your heart to [me] for I am your refuge and strength." I see your grace is even in the 'hard' things so I know you're always good-I can trust you. You really do want to hear what's going on?!
Joy-"In [God's] presence there is fullness of joy." God is fullness of Joy. That is what He experiences all the time. That deep happiness that comes out of gratitude is where He resides. When we rest in Him, we feel it too. I'm just starting to practice this and it's still very fleeting to me, but I think my brain is starting to understand ;) I know the way to Joy is God-looking to Him to do all the cleansing work in my heart let's me see Him clearly. "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God". It's kind of a cycle. I come to God to 'fix me' and I rest in Him. My heart is grateful for His grace and Mercy and I thank Him. This makes me 'see' more of His grace and goodness and I seek Him more and He gives me His Joy. This results in worship and I want to come to Him more etc.
Just some things I'm working on...how about you?
Megan, I love honesty in my relationship with Jesus. Bringing a broken heart to him is priceless. I was just reading this quote. "You are healed, not when the pain goes away but when the purpose of God is revealed through your pain." I admire your wait for your little girl. Mitch and I have been struggling with infertility for 3 years and it feels we are in the waiting game too. I encourage you to continue to cry out to your father and let others in on this process. I will hold you up in your wait.
ReplyDeleteMegan, I love hearing your heart. And aren't these all things that Jesus "practiced", too? As for me, I'm working on seeking the eternal in the temporary. Every step is one more toward heaven, right?
ReplyDeleteLove this, Megan! I do a lot of praying and crying out to God on my walks! I try to go early in the morning when the neighborhood is really peaceful and quiet (still sleeping)...and then my neighbors won't think I am crazy when I am crying as I walk! ha! :)
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