I've been hesitant to blog this year, because I honestly don't know where to start. And I'm a perfectionist so I want it all categorized and themed nicely. AND I'm dreadfully fearful of people having negative views of me, and if they see I'm not in control (which none of us really ever are) then...what I'm not really sure, but I always imagine it would be real bad! But then my friend started a blog and I remembered why I started doing this in the first place. It's my attempt to put myself out there despite my fears. To let people know my struggles in hopes that it would encourage them in theirs. To be vulnerable. To tell of God's goodness and faithfulness in my life. I must declare that at least!
So this year I have a new title I guess. I don't label myself to box me in, but it sometimes helps me to identify something and then dive in to what it means and what it doesn't. You probably have heard, I'm a 'church-planter's wife". (As if plain ole 'pastor's wife' wasn't bad enough :) I'm still trying to get my head around what this means and what it doesn't. here's some of my thoughts: I AM God's loved daughter ALWAYS! I AM a wife and mother before any other ministry. I AM a minister of the Gospel (good news) of Jesus. I AM a hostess, but I AM not a doormat with no time for recharging myself (an introvert) or protecting my family time. I AM not unapproachable, super sized holy roller, or a know it all. As a matter of fact, all I know is enough to know I don't know very much :) I AM a person in need of community-friends! I don't know why it's hard to be a pastor's wife's friend, but it seems to be intimidating or something...wanna hang out?! I had a sweet 'church planter's wife' (friend) who is a step ahead of me really encourage me this week with this...she said God will provide all you need and it'll be fun to see how. Ahhh...love my daddy's faithfulness!